I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
