No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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