Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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