there's paper in my vomit.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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