And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
