FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize