fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
