dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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