Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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