Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
