I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
