I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
