I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just pee around me
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
