i just google imaged poop.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
