I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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