The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
don't judge my taste in strippers
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
