I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
