Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
