ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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