the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize