Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
