he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
