consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
