just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
