Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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