don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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