I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the day after is always just damage control
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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