He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
