I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I wish i was in the wii world.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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