my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
