I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just pynch a tree in the face
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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