you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
