He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
