Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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