HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
