glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
