do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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