i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I fill condoms, not promises.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
