my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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