this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
