its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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