you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
