There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
