All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
