It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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