just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize