We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
