life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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