Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
