just tell him i said nine months
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
