I think I am morally bankrupt
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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