Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
