he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
