apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
