I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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