why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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