he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
