they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
