I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
