There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
