the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
The air taste purple.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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