god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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