people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
