so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
