The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
