I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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